Daily Ramblings and Rumblings

 
It's BratFest Time Again...?

Apparently Phil is at BratFest. For those of you not married to a Wisconsinite, the BratFest is not a celebration of bad child behavior. It is a celebration of questionable pork and beef parts stuffed into pig intestines, boiled in flat beer and then subject to flames. This epicurian delight is then consumed with copious amounts of beer (for obvious reasons).

I make joke of course. I love Brats.

And at the Brat Fest, they have celebrity judges.

Celebrity, in this case, in the general sense. Kitty Dunn is the morning anchor on Triple M 105.5.


posted by Scott Mitchell at 10:51 AM

 
Occasionally things ARE as good as they should be...

So I ducked out of the meetings for lunch and went to Best Buy. I am wandering the Aisles and I see the Shrek 2 soundtrack. I look at the back and there is a "bonus track" of Jennifer Saunders (the Fairy Godmother) singing "I Need A Hero".

Either you know Jennifer Saunders or you don't. She is Edina on Absolutely Fabulous and she is the Saunders in "French and Saunders" (bap, a do be do).

So I bought the album. I couldn't not buy it. The song is perfection.

She starts over importantly slow (Where is my white knight, atop his trusty steed, late at night, I toss and turn and this is what I dream....), then it bounds into a boom boom boom disco song. She is hilarious. The song is funny and good at the same time. It is backed up by the worst of cliches. A full orchestra playing this crap. A chorus of wailers "ahhhhaaahhhha'ing" in the background. It is great

I'm holding out for a hero in the edge of the night. And he's got to be fast, and he's got to be tough and he's got to be larger than life. Larger Than Liiiiiiffeeee.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 1:16 PM

 
Done with the meetings.... Yeah!
posted by Scott Mitchell at 12:57 PM

 
Jon Stewart - If he thinks things are okay, maybe they are...

So Jon Stewart gave a commencement address at William and Mary. He said a couple of things that were Daily Show funny, and some that were Serious. If you get time read the whole thing.



If you don't get time, then here are my favorite bits...

Funny

"But here's the good news. You fix this thing, you're the next greatest generation, people. You do this, and I believe you can, you win this war on terror, and Tom Brokaw's kissing your ass from here to Tikrit, let me tell ya. And even if you don't, you're not gonna have much trouble surpassing my generation. If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and don't give the thumbs up you've outdid us."

And Serious
"And the last thing I want to address is the idea that somehow this new generation is not as prepared for the sacrifice and the tenacity that will be needed in the difficult times ahead. I have not found this generation to be cynical or apathetic or selfish. They are as strong and as decent as any people that I have met. And I will say this, on my way down here I stopped at Bethesda Naval, and when you talk to the young kids that are there that have just been back from Iraq and Afghanistan, you donÂ?t have the worry about the future that you hear from so many that are not a part of this generation but judging it from above. "

posted by Scott Mitchell at 12:47 PM

 
Shrek 2 Even I liked it.

Well, you must see Shrek 2. It is quite funny. Antonio Bandaras as Puss In Boots. Too funny. And the Donkey.

I would write something humerous about it, but it would be gilding the Lily. We saw it at the ArcLight and the entire room laughed.

Although, the ArcLight has figured out a new, cool system. You sign up on-line for the "over 21" movie. Then you get to go to the upstairs bar, have anything you want to drink up on the balcony or the patio. Then you get to take it into the theater (hence 21 year olds and over). You have your one bar, snack bar, and toilets. It is very cool. And made cooler by the movie.

posted by Scott Mitchell at 12:45 PM

 
Faith Finishes Track Season

Faith finished her track season (which seems odd to me, since didn't the snow like JUST stop?).


posted by Scott Mitchell at 12:54 PM

 
Don't Have it in Me

You know gang, those pictures of the prisons in Iraq are freaking us all out. It isn't who we - Americans, humans, whatever, it isn't who we are.

I can't image the strain the national guard people were under.
And I can't image how they did this. Maybe they thought that this would save lives. I don't know.

I can't comprehend how this happened, and so I want to explain it away. If only so I don't go nuts.

I am not going to dwell on this because it is too awful.

I feel bad for parents like John and Sue or Barbara and Gareth. How do they explain this to kids. Hell we can't explain it to each other.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 11:27 AM

 
I love Felicty Huffamn

I fell in love during Sports Night, and I give everyone in that show the benefit of the doubt, you know that. But, I do love Felicty Huffman.

posted by Scott Mitchell at 9:38 AM

 
Dog Update

So the pups are doing okay. Ashford has sprained one of his front legs and periodically re-injures it when he plops off his chair or the couch. Perhaps "plops" is too harsh, but anybody who has seen the pudgy bunny lately cannot, with a straight face, say "leaps gracefully."

In fact, yesterday Ashford had a little issue down the stairs. When I come home, he races to the bottom of the stairs, where we have a light wood /cardboard barrier so they stay off the new carpet and my birthday furniture. Both Ashford and Hastings wait, I move the barrier, and they run to the backdoor.

Well, apparently yesterday the barrier came down during the day, and it was laying on the floor, slippery. Ashford, not having to stop, proceeded apace. But the barrier under his foot was too slick, and he was trying to turn left. Bad combo.

His one foot slipped underneath him, and he did a half gainer. His momentum was quite large, as tubby was racing down the stairs, so he flopped onto his back, and slipped along the wood.

Then it was one of those moments where time slows down. His eyes, always expressive, opened a little too wide. His four feet were up in the air, like a turtle, waving wildly trying to get traction. All the while his sausage like body speed towards the hall wall, the wood and his fur seeming to make him speed up, not slow down.

Hastings and I both stopped at the bottom of the stairs, transfixed. Ashford bounced off the wall, used the bank shot to get back up on his short little legs, and shook his head. He looked at me and Hastings, gave a big smile and little woof, and tore off for the back door.

It seemed like nothing so much as a kid on his first rollercoaster. Pure fear, replaced by exhilaration. I don't know if he wanted to do it again, or just barf. We settled for a little pee, and then some petting.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 2:09 PM

 
Eleanor Roosevelt in a Track Suit

Okay, so I have the $1 a wear rule (everything should cost no more than $1 per wear, cleaning price not included), but even I have a point past which old clothes are tossed.

I am daily confronted with a gentlemen (a great guy I like) who is still wearing Guess jeans. I don't know when Guess stopped making jeans for men, but it was years ago we stopped buying them. He has gotten his $1 a wear a long time ago.

Now when he walks down the hall, all I see is "Guess" on his ass. I play my own little game where I answer quickly under my breath, then make us a question.

Like..

42 Valient!
What was the first car you really wanted to drive?

150
How many kilos do you weight? (The answer is wrong, but that is because the guesser didn't know there were 2.2 lbs. in a kilo)

Today the answer is...
Eleanor Roosevelt in a track suit.
What is the most unnerving erotic thought you have had in the last 25 minutes?
posted by Scott Mitchell at 3:55 PM

 
A Bad Start Today

So I start my day a little before 7AM with a phone meeting. It takes place with Belgium and, except for a little too much droning on by people who love the sound of their own voice, it goes very well. I get off the phone in a happy mood.

Since I have already had my first meeting, I will make some eggs for breakfast, relax and read the paper. Great. My day will begin nicely. The sun is shining; all is well with the world.

I go to get the paper. There is a Toyota Highlander parked on top of it.

I try to remain calm. But the car is actually parked facing the wrong direction. This means that the evil cow that parked it had to open her door, step over MY paper under her wheel to go to the neighbor?s house. This is the neighbor with the hell dog. I don?t complain about the dog. I don?t complain that grandma is an evil cow who bangs on my door during parties to bitch about cars that aren?t mine. I am a nice guy. Don?t park on my paper.

I was so mad I started to work and forgot my computer. I know you think, "you are mad about this?", but I have tried to be the nice one in the family. I try to get along with them. I am truly furious.

Now I am furious and 7 miles from home without my laptop.

So I drove back. Eddie was there and we talked, I showed him the horrible Highlander. Eddie agrees that the nasty neighbor's are there. We commiserate about how awful they are. I was still mad so drove off again. Again without my computer. Ed called me on the cell to tell me. I waited at the bottom of the hill and he brought it down.

Why didn't I just knock you ask? Because the hell dog is in the patio and there is no doorbell. The garage door was open earlier (that is how the friends get in with their little brats) but no one answered when I knocked. That is because all the gals are downstairs four flights in the playroom with the kids.

I will be parking my truck in front of their house today.

posted by Scott Mitchell at 2:08 PM

 
Ok, well one must comment

So here is the poop-ski. It is the first day gay people can marry (well the first day they can marry another gay person) legally. I think it is great. And New York has said they would honor the marriages. Also great.

I know my honey doesn't need to get married. And I know it will just cause more problems (two annoying boys from MN are getting married, going home and will start a lawsuit - gez guys, give us just a week to enjoy it non-litigiously okay?).

But...

But, good for them. Good for two people who love each other to stand up and commit themselves in front of their family, community, friends and (if so inclined) God. Good for the little girl who's moms got married today. If something happens to Mom 1, as of today Mom 2 has some say in her life. Mom 2 can enroll her in school, see her at the hospital, she can legally be a mom - a job she has had illegally for 8 years.

Good for people in love. Many of you are friends and most of you are straight. And for some of you, I got to share your love at your wedding. Today, in a small way, I get to share in the love of all those homos in Massachusetts.

So today I smile a little more than normal.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 1:24 PM

 
It was a week-end of learning little known facts

For example: Apparently ancient Greece and Troy had quite a few 24 hour fitness centers. Because, clearly, Hector and Achilles were hitting them hard. Even wimpy Paris did spent some time in the gym.

Helen's face may have launched a thousand ships, but Brad Pitt's butt was back lit and framed like a Greek God's (thank you - I'll be here all week). Brad ending up bedding quite a couple of Greek girls and a Trojan Princess. You would have been hard placed to remember any of them.

In ancient Greece and Troy, both the men and woman wore gauzy shirts and sarongs. The men displayed much more flesh.

I recall Helen and Paris as doomed lovers. In the movie they are spoiled brats (but I don't want to take her back and save thousands of lives).

Lynn thought the whole Trojan Horse thing was a dirty trick.

Final surprise. We all actually enjoyed the movie. It was good fun, and less bloody than the Scorpion King.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 10:23 AM

 
It's Easy to Complain About Steriods

I know it is easy to complain about steroids. I mean they are wrong and all, but I really do see why people would use them.


posted by Scott Mitchell at 10:24 AM

 
Lynn's B Day

What did we do? What do you think. We got drunk, sat around and solved the world's problems.

Speaking of which I have a few observations.

1) Pale guys in the gym with an excessive amount of black body hair should wear underwear. I am just saying. You're putting on the Khakis, there should be some dividing line somewhere. You are just begging to accidentally zip up some pubes. And you're wearing khakis for goodness sake. No matter how long you shake, you're going to dribble. You know... if you don't even bother wearing undies you aren't going to shake enough. Just Saying.

2. Has anyone seen Erica Kane on All My Children lately? She's blond. Swear. It looks horrible.

3. Eddie now works at NBC/Universal. Home of 10.5, Gavin Feinberg, Ed Neppl, Fear Factor and Blue Crush. Are we just taunting the terrorists now?

4. I am 45 years old. That is half of ninety (and double nifty - Thank you, I'll be here all week). I thought you were suppose to gain wisdom as you got older. Apparently I was sleeping off a hangover that day. If you have seen my missing wisdom, please let me know where it is.

5. I'ld rather have a bottle in front of me, than have a frontal lobotomy.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 3:08 PM

 
Hippo Birdie to Lynn

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Getting old is crappy
I love you

Lynnie, Happy Birthday. You are always in our hearts and we love you.



posted by Scott Mitchell at 9:27 AM

 
Mama Mia

So it was a nice week-end. The symphony concert was a little ... crappy. Really, even the LA times didn't like it.

We cleaned our asses off to get the house ready for company (Terri from the Desert and her friend Taylor who sold us my birthday furniture).

Then on Saturday after they got in we went and saw Mama Mia with the two of them and Lynnie. Lynn, Ed and I had seen it before and this was one of the few times I have TOTALLY like a show better later with a different cast. It was a lot more fun, the singing in all parts was better (Eddie and I may disagree a little there), the cast was cuter and more in sync.

Sunday we took my Grandma around to the old neighborhood. Had a nice lunch and took her home. Terri and Taylor came back later that night and we had a nice cook out and watched the end of Survivor. Okay, I watched the end of Survivor and they went to sleep, but big dif.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 10:21 AM

 
So One Last Thing Before the Week-end Begins...

Some people have been working very hard to lose a little weight. Kudos to us all. But I did want to point out that Lynnie looks great. And, not to embarrass her, but her birthday is coming up within a week.

And, judging by the picture below (taken at my birthday a month and a half ago), you wouldn't have guessed that the trip we took to Africa a few years ago was to celebrate her 50th. Good job Lynnie.


posted by Scott Mitchell at 3:43 PM

 
Friday

We have a busy week-end coming up. Tonight we have a concert at the Disney Hall with Lynnie. The concert is on "casual Friday" with drinks first with the symphony members.

Tomorrow night, the muffin and a friend of hers are coming out and are going with Eddie, Lynn and I to see Mama Mia. Mama Mia, here I go again. (FYI - the song is "Waterloo" not "Wanting You")

On Sunday, Eddie and I are taking my Grandma out for Mother's Day. We are going shopping, eating lunch and going by the cemetery. I think it is totally creepy, but Grandma wants to go - so we will take her.

Gavi and Mickey are out of town for a Bat Mitzpha (I so don't know how to spell that) of his niece. I remember seeing pictures of her in under-roos, which just confirms I am slowing turning into my own Grandmother ("I remember when you were this high").

My Eddie was sweet last night and watched Friends with me and didn't bitch. I liked it because it was like a regular episode. It was too "tonight on a very special Blossom".
posted by Scott Mitchell at 9:39 AM

 
And Another Thing!

Okay, second post of this morning. Today is the final Friends episode. I love this show. Sure this year hasn't been the best, but Oh My Gawd, it has been great for at least 8 of the last 10 years.

So now everyone is coming out of the woodwork that the show starting sucking two years ago. Three years ago. Year 1.5 with the Diet Coke commercials. When Ross and Rachel broke up. When they got together. When Monica married Chandler. When Monica bedded Chandler. When Monica broke up with Tom Selleck. When Monica dated Tom Selleck. Blah Blah Blah.

Proving that you lost interest in the show YEARS AGO doesn't make you a great reviewer or person. It makes you a pretentious twit. Shut up and let the rest of us enjoy the show.

If you hate it that much go watch "My wife and Kids" or "Extreme Make Over" or "The Swan" or "The King of Queens" or "Still Standing", but for goodness sake shut up.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 10:37 AM

 
Yes Virginia, Los Angeles Does Have a Spring

To most, Los Angeles is the city without real seasons. If I hear the whine of "I miss the trees turning" once more, I think I really might puke.

Los Angeles is in the mist of it's most subtle beauty moment (here, I do not make Joke). All our imported plants are blooming, of course. Roses, glads, the Lillys and Lillys of the Nile are a riot of color.

But it is the dusk in this part of Spring that is magically LA. The mingling of day blooming Jasmine, the rush of night blooming Jasmine and the huge Jacaranda trees, with a canopy of purple flowers and a understated fragrance. The smells, the sights and the city is great. And you almost have to be a native to fully enjoy it. I mean you have to be oblivious to the smell of cars and smog to smell the subtly underneath.



And now back to your regularly schedule bitter boy.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 9:02 AM

 
The Reason I can read so much...

So Eddie sent me this the other day. It is a paragraph that he (and Lisa P) struggle with because they are natural proof-readers. I, as one might have observed, am not. I can read the paragraph out loud with no stops. See how you read it.

The pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses
and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig
huh?



posted by Scott Mitchell at 10:40 AM

 
10.6

Oh yea, and the converage on the West Coast was WNB. Hello, it's "Kxx" on the West Coast.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 6:11 PM

 
Oh My Gawd



How bad was10.5? Really really really bad.

It was, quite possibly, one of the most horrible shows ever. Ed and I watched it, as one must, drink in hand. Here are the top 10.5 reasons I loved that show.

1) They wanted to make a mock-documentary. But that would mean would have to write from a single point of view and being MILDLY plausible. And they would have to shot on video tape and look like it was real time. 10.5 answer, ZOOM in aNd ouT a LOT.

2) The Governor of California was a woman and all of her staff were women (except one black guy). The equal rights value though was slightly blown out of the water when all the women had to be rescued by men from the MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE DAMAGE.

3) They had 3 effects: The Space Needle in Seattle fell. The Golden Gate bridge fell in San Francisco. And the Hollywood Sign slipped in LA. They showed them a lot. Apparently there are no other landmarks in any of the cities.

4) The Governor’s Aide had a fight the day before with her husband. Then she was so busy with her job (dual killer earthquakes) that she couldn’t even take his call (boo hoo). Of course, she died. When the Governor called to break the news, the stay at home hubby held his Bulldog and wept. Affirmative Action gone too far.

5) The Governor had to leave her office in Sacramento (the State Capital) during an emergency to have a news conference in San Francisco. We all know that Sacramento is a dust-bunny town, but they can hold a news conference there. “Wait, I have to talk to the state immediately, get me on the first flight to San Francisco – we know they never have earthquakes.

6) Six Thermonuclear devices had to be placed up and down the state to stop the spread of “deep fault killer earthquakes”. However, the US Government only used 1 team to place them all. I’m thinking if time is running out, send out a second crew.

Bonus Six: The warhead has to be placed 324 feet below the surface to work. Not 325, 324!

7) The writing. The horrible horrible writing.

Bonus Seven: The acting. The horrible horrible acting.

8) The “Redding” quake opens up a fissure that runs RIGHT UNDER THE TRACKS OF THE SPEEDING TRAIN. Can the train out run the fissure (this particular quake doesn’t shake anything, it just chases trains)? Will our heroes make it out alive? Will the earth stop opening the second the train disappears under the soil to the sounds of screams? Yep.

9) Beau Bridges with a tear in his eye as his friend blows up.

10) Ivan – the hunky doctor – arguing with his dad (who is about to manually set off a Thermonuclear device) about the lack of emotion after the death of his mom. Yoo hoo, I got things going on here.

10.5) Geographical idiocy.
8 AM Dad and Kid leave Mom (Governor) in Sacramento and head north about 200 miles to get caught in Redding quake.
8 PM Dad and Kid lose car in quicksand (really) during San Francisco quake).
9 AM Dad and Kid next day-ish (the days weren’t really spelled out – everything happened in about 24 hours) jump on the back of multicultural rescue truck with black family, Asian driver and heavyset Latino day labours.
1 PM Same truck pulls in the Barstow relocation center – about 750 miles away. Apparently driving AROUND the following cities to get there:
Sacramento
Oakland
Fresno
Baskersfield

posted by Scott Mitchell at 11:27 AM

 
Mascot Arguments

Well, there is a little controversy over the mascot for the month. Ed wanted his Puerto Vallarta Tree Boy, but he didn't photograph well. Lisa wanted Brad from Troy. Of course Brad from Troy is always a good choice - no bout adout it.

But Troy isn't out yet. And Brad is -sigh- Brad.

Edwardo gets his cute little place in the sun for at least a few weeks.
posted by Scott Mitchell at 8:50 AM